New York - The New York Mets announced Wednesday they are petitioning Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and the US District Court in New York City to get an additional inning added to Game 5 of the World Series, which they lost to the Yankees by a score of 4-2. The game ended on a pop-up by Mets slugger Mike Piazza, giving the game and the championship to their cross-town rivals.

Piazza said there was no way he meant to hit the ball to Yankees centerfielder Bernie Williams on the warning track of Shea Stadium. "I meant for that ball to go all the way out of the park and take us to the next game. I misread Mariano Rivera's pitch. I mean let's face it, I'm Mike Piazza and it is my right to hit a home run. That's what I've done all season. I demand another at bat."

Mets General Manager Steve Phillips and Manager Bobby Valentine said the outcome of the game could alter their earlier decision to fire hitting coach Tom Robson.

"Because of the confusion of the balls being thrown our way, a man has lost his job," said the usually emotional Valentine. Between tearful sobs, Valentine said the Yankees admitted to deliberately confusing Mets batters by mixing up their pitches and making it impossible for his normally hot-hitting team to win.

"We are going to keep playing Game 5 until we like the outcome," said Valentine. "We want a new game and new balls."

Mets management was joined by members of the Major League Baseball Players Union, who said they supported the Mets, but urged everyone "not to rush to judgment and let this game be played out," for the sake of the fans.

"We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said Phillips. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit."

Yankees pitcher Andy Pettitte, winner of game 5, said there was "no way" he was going to "telegraph" to the other team when he was throwing his sinking fastball. "I did that last year and it took all the fun out of the season and almost got me traded," Pettitte said while fishing in his home state of Louisiana.

One claim specifically noted by Mets attorney Alan Dershowitz was that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at Roger "The Rocket" Clemens fastballs, but couldn't keep up with them. However, that should not disqualify them from being allowed to bat continuously, Dershowitz argued.

But a high-ranking front office official for the Yankees who requested anonymity accused Dershowitz of "extreme partisanship," in the matter, citing the attorney's support of the Boston Red Sox, arch rivals of the Yankees. "The friend of my enemy is my enemy," said the official.

Several hitters said they found themselves confused by closer Marino Rivera's cut fastball as well. Mets hitters said they weren't sure if they were swinging at sliders or curveballs from any of the Yankee pitchers.

One Major League Baseball official, who asked not to be identified said, "It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches."

Several sports reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact faced the Yankees in inter-league play earlier in the year.

"The fact remains that some of the pitches confused us and denied us of our right to hit," said Valentine. "The World Series is not over yet and the Yankees celebrated prematurely and we understand they are already ordering their championship rings."

,Major League Baseball has reviewed the telecast of all the World Series games and recounted the balls and strikes called by the umpires of each game.

"While some of the strikes called against the Mets were, in fact, balls, there were not enough of them to change the outcome of the World Series," said Selig.

Another portion of the Mets legal claim stated that according to the on-base percentage of the team, the Mets had actually won the World Series, regardless of the final scores of the games. "It's clear that we were slightly on-base more often than the Yankees," said a Mets spokesman. The Mets had eight hits compared to seven for the Yankees in Game 5.

"The World Series crown is rightly ours," said Valentine, but Yankee Manager Joe Torre dismissed the claim, calling the Mets "sore losers."

"Quite frankly I expected more from them. They are a class organization from top to bottom," said Torre. "But this World Series was clearly an engagement of democracy in action. Everyone on the team produced, from utility infielder Luis Sojo to Jose Vizcaino and an injured Paul O'Neill. In certifying this victory for the Yankees, we respect and abide by the will of baseball fans everywhere."

(Dorothea's satire was inspired by an e-mail I received from my brother-in-law in Maine, who received it from his boss, who doesn't remember where he got it from. We thank the un-known author of the item that inspired this fine piece of reading. After the events of this past week, we could all use a good laugh.)